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Snap! Whoa, oh shoot, you nearly fell asleep again. Ok so what was that sound? Snap! ohhhhh-hoo-ho, it's paint. Look at the ceiling over there, it's covered in the curling dandruff of old off-white-colored paint that seems to be randomly falling to the ground. Wow that last piece was pretty big, and it happened to land right next to that also "pretty big" bug in pacing in the crease where the clammy wall meets the dirty floor.
Oh lord I hope there's not another one of those bugs over here. Don't panic Elizabeth. You're doing good. Look at yourself, you have everything under control, you are sitting on top of your suitcase, and have buckled your purse and backpack to your body and pressed it all snug against the two walls in this little corner. You have claimed your space and you are going to be ok. . . yeah. . . heh. . . yeah.
Oh screw it, you're going to die! I mean did you see that homeless gimp down the hall? Or on the steps to the platform, didn't you see those two hookers in their back leather and high heels? Are you listening at all to that tall stocky man that keeps staring at you as he walks back and forth singing about the "girl in the corner" ahhhh!!? This is it! You are gonna die my friend! YOU ARE GONNA DIE!
You are crazy! I am crazy. I mean. It's a miracle that you even got off at the right place. It was a miracle that the people in the train coach you were in were nice to you and that one of them could speak some English, which meant they could translate to you where that old guy was telling you to get off. Ha!
It's 4am and you ought to start thinking either how your going to fight if any of these people come up to you and how you are gonna get out of here. What a mistake. I should have never tried to do this on my own. I should have just spent a fortune and stayed in Rome tonight and not been that last person to get a ticket out of Termini station. Believe it or not they actually cut off everyone behind me saying it was too late and no one beyond the cut in line could purchase a ticket.
Breathe. Breathe. It'll all be ok. At least the lights are on. just close your eyes again, you are so tired just 24 hours ago you were waking up in Singapore. With no sleep this all seems worse. Think about it, a homeless gimp is really not going to club you to death with his wheelchair. Keep praying and maybe another miracle will happen.
"That's just what I was about to do." laughed a man's voice.
Ok que to open eyes, someone is speaking to you in english and doesn't have an accent. "Oh yeah?" I say to the blond haired 20-somthing American walking past me toward the schedule posted on the wall.
"Yeah we haven't slept and our train doesn't leave for hours."
I must seem desperate, and scared, I am grasping for any bit of conversation to keep this guy here. He says he has to run to get his fiance from the other side and they'll be back- this area is much cleaner, he says.
"Clean-ER? Goodness."
"Yeah"
Oh Lord, thank you so much. I am saved. I am saved! hahahah oh wow. I don't know if these people are angles or actually exist. But whatever they are I'm just glad I am not so alone.
We deciding to walk up the stairs to a small cafe that had just opened, and force ourselves to drink water and eat something. Amazingly, I am so out of it, it's like I'm drunk. You'd think with the BO of a person who hasn't showered in a while, rode on a sweaty train, and been sitting in the much downstairs, it would be unlikely to get hit on. EEEEEEEE- wrong! So in this state of not realizing what is around me, I end up talking with a creepy local asking about hostels and internet.
"Um, I'm pretty sure that guys is trying to pick you up." says my new friend.
"Really."
"Ha-yeah."
"Great..."
Can you believe it. UHHH! Some Italians!
So from about 5am to 8am, this young couple from Seattle and I keep each other awake and safe while we wait for the sun to come up and the trains to start running. They are headed to Paestum, a place with ancient ruins about and hour and a half away. I am unsure still if I will continue on. If today was this bad, how much worse with the next month be?
Just when I'm thinking I might catch a train to Hamburg and say I'm finished with all this hoopla. The gentleman's fiance, says to me, "You know, I think you are really brave. I know that I couldn't do this without him."
"Wow. Thank you."
"No I mean it, you are really brave, sometimes I want to quit, and he pushes me to keep going. I know that I could never do something like you are and be by myself."
Wow. Ok God, I got the message. I'll keep going. I guess I'm not really alone. Sometimes, I just can't believe that all these little miracles happened to get me this far... It's scary as all heck, but I think I'm going to keep going forward.
I can do this.
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