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When I say the word “football,” I’m sure images of laced oblong-shaped balls, 50-yard lines, and giant men dressed in really tight pants with oversized helmets are filling your mind. Well, stop the filling. That’s not what I’m talking about. Try a round, black and white ball, nimble muscular goalies, shorts and shin guards.
It’s “football” season for the world. As I’ve traveled from Asia to Europe, I’ve learned that if a bar/cafe/small restaurant want’s to have patrons on game night, they HAVE to show the game.
Tonight, I think most of this small town showed up for the viewing of Germany vs Spain. My small, Atrani cafe was packed and even had people standing on the cobble stones behind the outdoor seats. I arrived about 20 minutes into the game, so my chances of being able to see the screen were slim to none.
Despite this packed predicament, I was able to score a seat right in front of the screen next two a couple of blond Aussies. How, well it was all because the Fabio-blond (one of the owners of the cafe) saw me, moved a chair to the frond and curled his fingers in a wave to signal me over to him. HA! yes now I can cheer for those German boys with no large Italian men blocking my view
Here’s where the real game starts. This ploy by my curly-haired, taught-tushied man was just to get me within intense flirting range, and in line for “scoring” some sort of goal. Note to all women. Flirting is a whole nother ballgame in Italy. Below is a play-by-play account of this sport.
zonal marking system - A system of play where each player is assigned a zone on the field. Each player is then responsible for covering any opponents that may enter his zone.
This for of dividing up the playing field is nonexistent here. It is pretty much a free for all, any man can flirt, woo, and charm any woman, even the same women- no matter the depth of friendship between the two men competing for her.
First Touch- It is also quite literal as it is the first touch a player has on the ball when receiving a pass or cross.
Apparently it's “ok” for these men to just touch you as part of their excessive flirtations. This may or may not include “time-wasting” and or staring. I experienced this play soon after sitting to watch the game this evening. Our dashing "Cassanova" brushed his fingers slowly across my cheek, looked into my eyes and closed the move in grasping my chin for a moment.
Can I just day What the h***! Although he is as smooth as silk in that moment, it just all seems a little out of place to me. At a later time when the same debonair fellow tried to pull the same “first touch” on some of my new german friends, one of them about drop-kicked him. HA! ...culture shock?
time-wasting - A deliberate attempt to keep the ball out of play longer than is necessary.
This tactic has many forms, such as small talk, unnecessary compliments and the like. My favorite instance is what I like to call “Fabio’s Question.” Beginning with a ballet-like swoop and spin he bent his whole torso around the back of my chair, placed is lips ever-so-closely to my ear and whispered (this is in a loud crowd of screaming fans mind you), “Who are you cheering for? [long pause and breath]”
“Germany” I say with a nervous laugh- you see in a crowd even this big, I am the only one here cheering for Deutschland. Everyone else here either hates Germany for beating them or loves Spain so I am SOL.
“Ahh...... I see. [long pause, again] I should have guessssed” he replies with a smile and a turn of the head.
Offside -A player in an offside position is only penalized if, at the moment the ball touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee, involved in active play by interfering with play, interfering with an opponent, or gaining an advantage by being in that position.
This is a risky act for anyone! Usually ending in a big penalty. Watch for those who think they have you within range. Too much pride and your Italian may just get a little too spontaneous. Examples include: Fabio taking a sip from my wine glass in a BYOB setting in an attempt to show off more than needed. Deflection- holler hay, now you owe me an ice cream or something (penalty) and you immediately get the offensive plus a big cone of fresh gelato from the shop next door :)
riding pine - A term used by players that are seeing very little game time. The bench is their friend
This is a guy who is a little desperate and persistently tries to win you. Examples of this go from asking the time and offering a coffee for the answer to men following women up steep walkways from one ton to another just to ask a few simple questions and offering a gelato. Beware the pine riders!
scoring - To have the ball pass completely across the goal line, between the two goal posts and beneath the crossbar of the opponent.
This is interpreted differently for each player. Many Italian men vs American women are shooting for what girls in middle school are told “what every boy wants” however there are a few sweeter players just seeking to score a kiss and an opportunity to just play the game.
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