The Runaway Cook

So I have stepped outside for the first time, and at 8am, Salerno is already steamy as the sun is just peeking over the buildings.

I better get a move on, since I have more traveling to do. I need to find an Internet source to let my family know I'm alive, tell the hostel that I had booked for yesterday and today that my planes we changed, making me arrive in Salerno too late to check in, oh and email the Mozzarella farm that I need to visit them later in the week, there's no way I can do that today.

So when one doesn't speak Italian and they are traveling in a less touristy Italian town, how the heck do you figure out where to go and who to ask? The Polizia! Dressed in navy blue uniforms with badges and official-looking white hats, they are sure to be trustworthy and hopefully can speak english.

The first police man I came to was chubby, grey-haired man walking leisurely along the wide sidewalk of the main street. I hollered, "Me scusa. Parla inglesi?" which means, "Excuse me. Do you speak English?"
"Un poco." He said, which means, "a little".
I ask him where I can find the internet. He doesn't know what I mean. So I say, computer, web, in-ter-net, email.
"Ahhhhhhh! Email-uh, si, si, si! You need internet-ta point-te?"
"SI!"

He continued to give me directions. Which, in the end I realized were perfect directions, but in my sleepless state and they only confused me further. He said walk three stoplights down and it is on the right across from "Camera" something. Now the word "camera" in english means a camera shop full of electronics right. In Italian, "camera" means "room" so what I thought would be an electronics shop was actually a large hotel, which is a great landmark when trying to find a little teeny "internet point."

I walk down the street and seem to not be getting there, I can't tell if he meant just the changing stoplights or the red blinking lights too. I ask another policeman if he speaks english and he says no and sorry. I keep walking, stop, turnaround and walk more, then stop and sit and nearly start to cry. I get up and decide to just start walking back to the train station and just get out of here.

Just then the second policeman stops me. He motions me to wait, and he asks another policeman to come over. He speaks German and Italian, uffda! I start saying "dove e internet" nobody can understand the way I say internet, oy! So I say, email. They both say si a million times and motion me to follow them. We walk a bit the he tells me to stop and the two men walk talk to yet another policeman. They tell him the whole story, from what I can tell, and this man listens to me speak in english then tells them internet point and email, they all bounce and nod as everyone loudly says "si si si si si si", and we are off.

We walk a ways and again stop. These men are ridiculous but sweet. Just to be absolutely certain, they go into a small drugstore and bring out a man who can speak english decently. They tell him to listen to me. I tell him what I need and he then tells the pack of policemen what I need. They all say, you guessed it SI! hahahahahaha.

After just two more blocks of walking we are there. They tell me it opens at 9am, 45 minutes from now. I say grazia a million times and wait.

Luckily the women that owns this shop speaks english and was able to tell me where to get a ticket for and where to hop on the bus to Amalfi. Lord I just want to go to sleep. . . 31 hours and counting.